I'm struggling to decipher what is meant by 'the world. Wherever I look I see so many different facts of life, and yet everyone seems to be searching for one thing to have in common. Is everyone at a loss?
I recently was told that I should accept depression exists. However, I have found that now I accept it exists I can't be happy. If I can't be happy who will be happy with me? In a recent experiment carried out (cannot remember who did it, sorry, search the news and radio 4 programmes) they found people belonged to lonely circles. This suggests that if you feel lonely, your loneliness is passed on to the people you live and work with. Although, work has special criteria of its own. This basically means that what you feel your closest of friends and family also feel.
I can even relate this to geography. In Human Geography there is a theory of Nearest Neighbour Index, in which people will only travel so far for shopping. Which is all dependent on the type of thing your shopping for, but anyway...
If you go around with a happy face on then you see happy people, if you feel lonely your loneliness spreads amongst the people you see. Many people say we are losing touch with our neighbours, maybe its time we actually stopped for a minute and sat down for a drink with them...we are all human, unfortunately not every person is nice, which is why lots of people hide or ignore what's going on. We are too scared to stand out from the crowd and make a mark.
What's worse, if you do stand out from the crowd, you are instantly put in the spot light and given a certain reputation. You become the odd one out, the socially inept..is this all because we have tried to hard?
There is no winning with keeping everyone happy. How many people do you ask in your day "How are you?" How many don't reply and avoid the topic altogether like you were not there? How many people just say yes there fine and inside they're screaming for some care and attention? Are we all just fake, are we all just no longer caring about other people?
We can't explain all our feelings all the time: 1. psychiatrists would be out of a job, 2. everyone would moan all the time, plus moaning makes others not want to talk to you. But then who are the people who stand tall look like there leading the way and then at the end of the day, collapse into misery because they feel they haven't done enough. Meanwhile others look more and more at you like your insane or can't hold your life together if you do moan. It's like a CV. You must please everyone just right to keep going. Why should this be the case? Is it just politeness?
All that is required is for one person just to make the day seem better. But that can be harder said than done. The potential is there to hurt more than heal and finding the balance is tough.
This I find this all hypocritical, because at the end of the day, everyone needs something to make them feel part of the community. If you're left out or feel forgotten, you end up being left out and forgotten- and this is apparently the policy these days.
Everyone is individual, take them for who they are don't make them feel like the odd one out because of who they are. Accept them for who they are. Humans are bad with labelling. Politeness maybe a key thing, but are we all just in the doldrums or are we all having a happy time.
I keep happy by working with people and enjoying the good times with them, however I know these times seem to be getting slimmer, especially when we have to move away from our core groups. So lets smile, and revitalise ourselves and make a new better place. Alas, I've done this and all too frequently knocked back, I bounce on the outside, but on the inside there is nothing left. Just the shell of a human being. Being criticised about everything from family, friends and work colleagues about how you do things ultimately leaves a human being stripped of their soul. How am I supposed to behave if everyday I'm told to change and it never is better.
The Gestalt Prayer - Fritz Pearls 1893-1970.
I do my thing,
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world
to live up to your expectations.
And you are you not in this world
to live up to mine.
You are you and I and I
and if by chance
we find each other, it's beautiful,
If not, it can't be helped.
----
I have pointed to this CD before recently but it will help sooth the mind, check the translations if you don't read Latin, Welsh or Japanese.
Karl Jenkins - Requiem.
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