Friday 20 August 2010

All I want to do is...stop

This morning I was reading through my many words that hold my dissertation together, editing, checking and sorting out the spelling, grammar and punctuation. I was meant to write loads more, but it seemed to take most of the day to tidy what I currently have.

So there I was, the next thing I know I'm humming away to myself. With a musical background from years gone by, I can still listen to random odd bits of tune and extrapolate something. Today I was humming from a ring tone which turned into a delicate classical guitar rift. This is quite rare for me as I'm a brass player by nature, Jazz and classical is what I know, whilst I do listen to other stuff, so humming something for guitar was an all together new feeling.

With all this angst about what I'll be doing in the next couple of weeks, I'm wondering when I'll be able to get back to playing music. Most likely when I have my own place. Cycling wise similarly, when I finally settle.

There's still a lot to do in the next couple of weeks, the course is under control, its what's happening after my course. I officially have 15 days to find myself a job and a place to live or else. I've already done the going back home from university to family once before, I really don't to do it if I have to. It's actually making me feel depressed.

I looked around for jobs, and I keep my ears open for them. But the markets gotten tough again. It's really quite worrying. Further still, getting in to the environment sector is very hard indeed, in fact I'm wondering if I actually own a pair and can hold my weight, this year has been so hard, all I want to do is hide away, sleep and keep warm. That holiday I am not deserving is still calling, basically I'm burnt out and need a rest. Except as the saying goes

Theirs no rest for the wicked


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