There I've said it, the quest to find the next step, the elephant in the room you might argue. How cuddly that elephant is, not. This isn't a game, this isn't guess work, although I so feel I could guess and come up better than sitting around thinking.
I've lost my spark. I'm hopelessly struggling to get my ideas together on just about anything and everything. From the virtues of my subject between the areas I like and would prefer to ignore because I will never understand them, to the general day to day tasks, I can't think straight. I'm losing my marbles one by one I swear.
The energy required to get through to the end of my Masters at University has sucked all the energy away from me. I never particularly felt a need for a holiday until now, I never felt I deserved one and I still don't think I deserve one for the energy I do require is no longer their. Motivation as ever is key, but this is not enough. An interest, people interested would also help, but I've got this sinking feeling back again. I'm about to close and let the world chuck me out and forget I existed.
I think I may be going slightly mad I'm not sure, but I am most certainly lost in my own little world more. My struggle to write my dissertation comes from a lack of knowledge, its not quite ended yet, binding to commence in just short of two weeks and I'm not convinced I understand the topic fully yet. I have a system which lets me work and this Masters course has stopped me from doing it mainly because quantity of material we have covered this year and a relentless and ruthless pace hasn't allowed me to study in my optimum pattern. So I've taken short cuts so that I can keep up with the task at hand and lectures accordingly, but its also cost me my knowledge.
My system as developed and adapted through the years from the help of school teachers and lecturers. Many thanks for this system goes to Mrs Haywood (Maiden: Lowe), Mr Bromley and Mr Peto of Ewell Castle School and Dr. C. Young of Canterbury Christ Church University, and many others in the private sector for checking my abilities.
A. Patterns for Days
1. Arising early and getting a good nights sleep,
2. The working day starts early and therefore ends early. 0800-1600 hours
3. The a short break having arrived home from the working day (30minutes or so)
4. Homework after short break commences and either ends or pauses for dinner at 1800 hours
5. After dinner prepare for the next day by making the lunch box and packing the bag, complete any outstanding homework
6. Have the rest of the evening off
7. Get to bed by 2230hours.
B. Consistent Working Patterns
1. Make careful notes on everything you read
2. Revise notes on a regular basis (preferably weekly)
3. (As Homework or best point after session in the day) After making notes in the day, go back through them and write down anything that you did not write in the session, ideas and examples that were not written from time constraints in the session (mainly for lecture notes: identify areas that need reading and place markers in relation to the topic from previous notes and lectures).
4. Practice writing for exam papers, presentations, essays and articles. Comparing articles and arguments, writing abstracts for summary notes and memorising information. E.g. With references: Author, year and aim in relation to your topic.
C: Checking notes
1. SPaG: This stands for Spelling Punctuation and Grammar
2. Read your work five times, check you've answered the question, carry out a consistency test on your thoughts, perform SPAG.
3. Review work handed back in and adjust based on feedback, comment on your own work - do you agree with the comments given? What can you do to improve your work, marks or otherwise?
D. Don't forget to relax
1. Find a social group or sport you can enjoy to take time away from the subject, come back fresh and revitalised later.
2. Don't stay up late and don't drink, you will only feel worse the next day.